Naked Chronicles

BA_women

Probably not surprising that the question I’m being asked most by my (male) friends back home is: So how are the Argentinian women?

The simple answer would be: Stunning.

The more complex answer would be: Stunning, but...

Yes, they are gorgeous. I spend any day walking around town just agog at the talent walking by. I’m reminded a little of my time living in Sweden many years ago, sitting at a street cafe a sunny, summer’s day with a couple of visiting mates from Canada. One of us (none of us can recall who, but we were obviously all thinking it) turned to the other two and asked: Do they kill all the ugly ones at birth?

Now in all honesty the Buenos Aires women probably don’t quite match up to the Swedish women. However they’re not far behind, and the bonus here is that you have this melting pot or mixture of Italian blood with Latin blood. And when that mixture hits the mark, well it really, really hits the mark in dark, brooding, pouting... you get the drift.

Add to that the clothing they wear, in winter it’s all skin tight jeans with knee high “fuck me” boots (can’t wait for summer!), and you may get an idea of why I walk around the city with a perma-semi-wood.

But...

Argentinian women - or to be more precise, Buenos Aires “porteñas” - are absolutely, incredibly crazy. And I don’t just mean crazy in a “cute”, quirky, slightly out of the ordinary & interesting way. No, I mean the crazy as in, “What the hell is up with that girl?” way. There simply is no way you will ever know what a local woman is really thinking, nor what she really wants. You just have to accept that and go with it.

They even have a specific local term for it - "hysteria" - which the local man use for just this characteristic in the local women.

Does she like you? You’ll never know. One night she’ll be all over you, the next acting like you’re the last person on earth she wants to be with. You’ll leave the bar that night expecting to say goodnight and head home alone, the next she says she wants to come home with you. But the next morning it’s back to being disinterested, but a week or so later it’s all excited emails again about going away for a weekend. I’ve heard versions of this story along a similar vein from too many for there not to be some kind of common trait.

And jealousy? It’s in their DNA.

Many foreigners I have met here have learned their lesson and are now dating women from other South American countries. For their own sanity.

But...

They’re so damn gorgeous. Oh, and a little insight from a Colombian female friend* of mine: They like anal sex too.

So I've been told. Don't shoot the messenger.

Now I bet that’s not quite the ending to this blog post you were expecting is it?

(* Another little insight from my Colombian friend: Apparently in Colombia it's quite popular for groups of university students to have weekend long orgies together with plates of dope, cocaine and God knows what else lying about for the participants' added enjoyment. Damn, I wish I'd known this before I headed off to backpack through Europe at 24! All of a sudden topless Swedish girls frolicking through the Greek islands doesn't seem quite as exciting as I once thought. Although...)

23 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “Argentinian women: Stunning, but…”

  • Gigi

    July 8, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Now… that last piece of info from a Colombian, it’s sheer s…….. rubbish!

    It’s not women who like it but MEN and the rule is, if you want to keep your man happy and keep him from going “hunting”, just do it.

    • Dave

      July 8, 2011 at 3:25 pm

      Fair call, I was only quoting one person, I certainly have no personal experience of this matter. And yes, I can’t honestly say that men don’t like anal sex… however, if a man really cares about their girlfriend/wife then if she says “no” it shouldn’t matter.

      (and the reason to provide your email whywouldigiveyoumyemail@hotmail.com is so you can receive notification of my reply to you and thus respond if you want, it’s not shown to the public)

  • Jorge

    August 7, 2011 at 6:33 pm

    lol.

    Dude, I grew up in Colombia and that last bit about Colombian orgies is certainly not true, or this girl you’re quoting just has a very “peculiar” group of friends.

    Spot-on about porteñas, though. Drama llamas, the lot of them.

    • Dave

      August 7, 2011 at 8:21 pm

      I actually found out at a later date that it was a particular university where these weekend orgies were quite common. Not sure if I should reveal the name of the university, the fun police might seek to put a stop to them!

  • momo

    August 10, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    What a bad stereotype you have of women here.
    Every person is different, that’s why i don’t like generalizations

    Enjoy your trip!

    • Dave

      August 11, 2011 at 1:30 pm

      While a generalisation is never true of everybody, it doesn’t mean there’s not truth in the generalisation. Example: Australian’s drink a lot. Does that mean that all Australians drink a lot? No, of course not. But many Australians do drink a lot.

      And besides, the above is my observations from personal experience and speaking with a handful of others. I’m not claiming it to be scientific fact. ;)

      • anchelo

        October 12, 2013 at 10:31 pm

        perhaps argentinian women think the same thing that you think about them: you are an american that is not worth the try…….

        • Dave

          October 13, 2013 at 1:49 pm

          Well first thing I’m not American…

          Secondly, if you read the post (and the comments after) you would see that it’s not just my opinion but also others. Does that make it correct? Not necessarily, but certainly with multiple people having similar thoughts there might be some validity in the idea perhaps.

      • Snapper

        November 29, 2013 at 5:15 pm

        What u trying to say some aussies have a drinking problem. I’ve only had 4 beers today so where does that put ur stereotyping now.

        • Dave

          November 29, 2013 at 5:23 pm

          Exactly the same as before your comment. Go back and re-read my comment, did I say that all Australians drink a lot? (and I am Australian, in case you didn’t know…)

  • mari

    August 24, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    Look, I am an argentinian girl and I have to say… sadly most girls are really crazy!
    But when we do fall in love… we fall pretty hard. If you’ve been here I have to tell you, seek the law students or the economy students, I don’t know why, but at my university (I study law) most girls look like they are models or something.
    Btw…Barney Stinson was right about the crazy-hot scale.

  • Dave

    August 25, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    Mari, thanks for the tips, I’ll keep them in mind when I head back to BA!

  • Darryl

    October 20, 2012 at 10:22 am

    They are not crazy. THEY ARE EVIL. The ones with money think they are above God – forget those. The ones without money are so frustrated with their situation that they take it out on every men. They are out there to make you pay for bad situation.

    They are also looking for “Brad Pitt” so to speak. If you approach them, they will mock you, etc.

    I would like to add a line regarding how to handle Argentinian women, but I am so angry I cannot even think straight and I do not want the FBI knocking on my door with a warrant for my arrest, if you get my drift, hehehe.

    • Deniski

      December 20, 2012 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Darryl,
      I was engaged with an Argentine woman and now I’m not. Totally off the wall, one moment it was full on, the next it was keep your distance and yet I knew she loved me. Totally inconsistant and difficult.
      Angry, pissed off. Yes.
      My advice is don’t even bother with Argentine women.

  • Ailen

    August 20, 2013 at 11:26 am

    Yes, maybe we are a bit hysterical but I preffer that before getting drunk and fat like the british girls…

  • Joseph

    January 24, 2014 at 6:37 am

    Naughty? Be honest what do you know about British women, have you ever been to the British Isles NO? I thought so. The only reason men come to your country ( foreigners ) is to get laid, i go to Cuba regularly and Cuba has some of the most beautiful women in the world and they treat you like a king, sure they like me are looking for a good time, so it costs a few dollars to do so, rather do that than go with a phsyco Argie who wouldn`t know how to treat a man even if her life depended on it get real, we have some of the most beautiful women in the world here in England the problem is they are looking for you to commit, not for me been there done it like my freedom hence off to Santa Lucia Cuba in two weeks, you need to learn how to enjoy yourself and get rid of your bitterness take care.

    • Dave

      March 13, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      I have lived in the UK Joseph, for a number of years, but unfortunately can’t agree with you about the overall beauty of the women there compared to many other places in the world. I’m not sure if you truly believe this either. If you did, why would you need to go to Cuba, and why would you need to pay for women?

  • Agustina

    February 18, 2014 at 7:28 am

    Hi, I’m Argentinian, been living abroad for the past 4 years, studying.
    Argentinians are not all the same. It is true many women are quite selective and hysterical but there are other women which are educated, cultured and interesting, and you will definitely not find them in those Palermo outlets every single weekend.
    We are not all crazy.
    On my part, I have some info to share about English men, they can’t spend a week without sex and treat you like a piece of meat. Same with the Norwegians, which in my opinion are much worse, but quite straight forward which is a plus. French men take ages to court you, they play all the romantic boyfriend game and they turn out to only want to shag you.
    The Irish are the most interesting men I’ve met so far, funny and definitely drink a lot.
    The Aussies…what can I say…definitely the most rude, raw, tasteless, uneducated bunch I’ve met. Met very few educated men here worth my time. It’s all about beet o`clock and barbieson weekends lol
    Despite the currency advantage, I will probably go back to Argentina, where I know the background of the people I see, and where guys are much more raw but they get less laid than you think…

  • light globe

    February 28, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    I was with a argintine women and she said to me if you turn the light off I will take it anal …………. maybe I should have let the light globe cool down first !!!!!!!

  • Konstantin

    June 29, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    They are not only crazy, they are also evil.
    Not only they are in deflation now, but they always are stingy. Never have I met more depresses and messed up people than argentinean girls.
    Yes they may look hot at times, due to silicone implants which are ”must have” for them, however their brain is not inside their heads.
    Avoid them at all cost and save yourself the whole ”hysteria” from them.

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