Schoolboy error tonight. Standing in a hostel bar, surrounded by revellers from all nations, dancing to some tasty live tunes from a Brazilian band, and I decide to look up my ex’s Facebook page on my iPhone. And her new profile photo shows her looking as lovely as ever… arm in arm with her new boyfriend.
It seems like it was much easier to “move on” from your past pre-Facebook. Out of sight out of mind as they say. And there’s much truth in that. But nowadays all you need is a smart phone and a wifi connection, and no matter where you may be in the world your painful past can be smiling back at you from a small 9cm screen in your hand.
The only other time I’ve been truly “in love”, 24 years old and knew nothing about how to deal with something so serious so it all went to pot, and I made the decision to go backpacking as my way of “getting over it” (sound familiar?). So off I head to the Greek Islands to party my arse off. And of course back then there was no Facebook, indeed no bloody Internet/email, so it truly was “out of mind, out of sight”. Even more so after a dozen beers and a few ouzo shots, with European women in bikinis all around.
Of course I know I shouldn’t be looking my ex up on Facebook. God, you don’t have to tell me what I shouldn’t be doing. But a few beers and even in the middle of drunken revelry something will tweak the memory for just a brief moment, and in your drunken state you delve into the past you’re trying to move on from… and it’s all just a quickly typed search away from the other side of the world.
And God she looks stunning, as she always has. And God I still miss her like oxygen.
I need to stop taking my iPhone out with me when I go out drinking.